by Mary Hughes
Published by Samhain Publishing on November 1st 2009
Genres: Fiction, Romance, Erotica, Paranormal
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Nitro? Meet glycerin... A Biting Love Novel Punk musician Nixie Schmeling is a hundred pounds of Attitude who spells authority a-n-c-h-o-r and thinks buying insurance is just one more step toward death. So she really feels played when she's "volunteered" to run the town's first annual fundraising festival. Especially when she finds out it's to pay for a heavy-hitting, suit-wearing lawyer-who's six-feet-plus of black-haired, blue-eyed sex on a stick. Attorney Julian Emerson learned centuries ago that the only way to contain his dangerous nature is to stay buttoned up. He's come from Boston to defend the town from a shady group of suits...and an even shadier gang of vampires. But his biggest problem is Nixie, who shreds his self-control. Nixie doesn't get why the faphead shyster doesn't understand her. Julian wishes Nixie would speak a known language...like Sanskrit. Even if they manage to foil the bloodthirsty gang, what future is there for a tiny punk rocker and a blue-blooded skyscraper? And that's before Nixie finds out Julian's a vampire... Warning: Contains more eye-popping sex, ear-popping language and gut-popping laughs than can possibly be good for you. And vampires. Not sippy-neck wimps, but burning beacons of raw sexuality-this means passionate blood-heating, violent bloodletting, and fangy bloodsucking. Oh, and cheese balls. Those things are just scary.
I don’t know what made me pick up this book but thank all the literary powers for that serendipity. Love it when I find a new vampire book that cracks me up. Then I get to fall in deep lust with the characters and the story line AND find out it is part of a series so I can have more debauched fangy fun. YIPEE! I love Nixie and NEED to see her band, Guns and Polka, in concert! But first the deets…
Nixie (aka Dietlinde Nixie Schmeling – what a fabulous name!)- tiny little sassy punk musician person with a personality and voice bigger than Meiers Corner, Illinois and a language all her own. Seriously, I added a whole new section to my dictionary.
Meiers Corner, Illinois– rarely do I believe a town deserves to considered a character in a book but once you read it, you will understand. A tiny German berg surrounded by big city Chicago and trying not to be assimilated (note Borg reference?) or over-run by the vamp-ulation.
Julian Emerson– Hunka, hunka burning…lawyer? Cue Superman music…here stiff, suity, controlled lawyer man comes to save the town from the Chicago Coterie that owns the evil insurance company, CIC (someone..ahem..author…has a hate-on for insurance companies).
So Nixie, anti-conforming spitfire, is volun-told that she is in charge of the first ever town fundraiser to bring in some cash to pay a lawyer to keep the town from annexation. Responsibility…blech…but suit-wearing lawyers milking the town of cash..even more blech…until she meets studly suit-wearing lawyer, Julian. The two could set off the fire sprinklers they are so hawt (Nixie slang for “hot”) together.
What Nixie doesn’t know, is that all the hubbub is really a front for a play by some shady vamps to take over the blood center in the town. More important, she doesn’t know that Julian is of the fang persuasion as well. To be bitten or not to be bitten becomes the question and ohhhhh what a bite. Bite…bite…bite…bite…but I digress.
Julian and Nixie are pulled in a million directions that include band tryouts, mediation meetings, drunk vamps, cheese-ball fights, beauty pageant rashes, venue melt-downs, insurance (again) issues, and chickens…I mean…vamps with no heads. Through it all, they become a dynamo couple who truly help each other and of course have steamy sex at every opportunity.
As a fellow musician, I love Nixie’s multi-instrument playing self. It was great to see a talented character who was tiny but mighty even if she does underestimate her own capabilities. Love it that those who know and love her know what she is capable of and push her toward things (except her mom and the “you must get married” push). There is no other way to describe the characters but quirky, unique and easy to relate to even when you are sure they are not speaking English.
What I didn’t get was the big deal about the cash. Aren’t vampires rich? They don’t ever really explain all this fuss over a measly (in the vampire universe) $500k. Seriously, isn’t that pocket change for them?
But overall, if you want a laugh, some vividly described sex and some new lingo for your bingo, this is your story. Don’t take it too seriously because it doesn’t take itself seriously. You may have to periodically translate but totally worth it. Oh, and don’t read late at night next to someone who will wake up if you burst out laughing…just saying.
I will be reading more of this series. I need more Meiers Corner. I need more stories of rancid, not-really-cheese cheeseballs and LLAMAS (you will just have to read it). I need to know what happens to Rocky…and Dru…and Logan (mrooowwww).